Husbands say the darndest things

So yesterday, my husband was having tummy issue. Says he: “The pain was as bad as child-birth.”

To which I say: …

Nothing. I was stunned. I kept repeating the sentence in my head, trying to figure out whether I had just heard, what I thought I’d just heard. Yup, he actually said that. I think the look of silent sarcasm and disbelief made him realise what he had said, and to whom. he had said it.

Husband: “Yeah, the pain’s almost as bad as that, but it doesn’t go away, you know?!”

Again, utter incredulity has baffled me and left me speechless.

What I think: Yes, I, the woman who bore and birthed two of your giant offspring, actually do know a thing or two about the pain of childbirth, and I most assuredly know FOR.A.FACT. you never have, nor ever will experience anything like it.

What I say: …

*crickets chirping*

The look on my face, and my silence, must’ve had him sweating needles by this point, because he continues trying to dig himself out of the quicksand-filled hole he is currently standing in. While listening with half a mind, and cursing him with the other, I realise he’s trying to compare the pain to contractions. So I finally speak and say:

“Well, did you remember to do your breathing?!”

And then I promptly left the room, before the other sentences in queue to leave my mouth could have a chance to escape. To his credit, he did not follow me or bring it up again after I came back into the room.

Smart man, that husband of mine, but sometimes he says the darndest things.

*If you enjoyed this post, check out more nonfiction here.*

One thought on “Husbands say the darndest things

Add yours

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: