So yesterday, my husband was having tummy issue. Says he: “The pain was as bad as child-birth.”
To which I say: …
Nothing. I was stunned. I kept repeating the sentence in my head, trying to figure out whether I had just heard, what I thought I’d just heard. Yup, he actually said that. I think the look of silent sarcasm and disbelief made him realise what he had said, and to whom. he had said it.
Husband: “Yeah, the pain’s almost as bad as that, but it doesn’t go away, you know?!”
Again, utter incredulity has baffled me and left me speechless.
What I think: Yes, I, the woman who bore and birthed two of your giant offspring, actually do know a thing or two about the pain of childbirth, and I most assuredly know FOR.A.FACT. you never have, nor ever will experience anything like it.
What I say: …
The look on my face, and my silence, must’ve had him sweating needles by this point, because he continues trying to dig himself out of the quicksand-filled hole he is currently standing in. While listening with half a mind, and cursing him with the other, I realise he’s trying to compare the pain to contractions. So I finally speak and say:
“Well, did you remember to do your breathing?!”
And then I promptly left the room, before the other sentences in queue to leave my mouth could have a chance to escape. To his credit, he did not follow me or bring it up again after I came back into the room.
Smart man, that husband of mine, but sometimes he says the darndest things.
*If you enjoyed this post, check out more nonfiction here.*