Conversations with my brain…at 3 AM

*Snort myself awake*

Me: *Sigh* Gotta pee.

Brain: Oh, great. You’re up. While I have your attention, there’s a couple of things I want to run by you quickly.

Me: I really just got up to pee. This’ll have to wait ’til…

B: When?! In the morning? Too busy with the kids. After that, you’re too busy working. Then too busy cooking, eating, kids again, playing some stupid game on the phone, then you go to sleep. So tell me, when would be a good time, huh?!

Me: You’re not gonna shut up are you?

B: The quicker you let this train of thought ride, the quicker you get back to Sleepyland station.

Me: Fine, what did you…

B: O.k., so first, the fight with hubby: short recap, how did it start and how can we avoid a repeat in the future?

Me: Nope, not doing that now. He’s right next to me, I might get mad all over again and strangle him in his sleep.

B: Good point, we’ll come back to that when you’re in a more forgiving state of mind. O.k., next up, I just want to, once again, draw your attention to the four baskets of laundry waiting to be folded.

Me: Yeah, I saw them. My eyes work just fine. I choose to ignore them for the time being.

B: Really, cause, like, you’re up now, soooo maybe…

Me: Don’t even think about it. Next.

B: Oookaaaay…let’s see, what else, oh yeah. Your career. If you’re serious about making a switch, you’re gonna need a new pc. Neither you nor I have the patience to deal with that slow excuse of a laptop you got sitting on your desk. For graphics, you’re gonna need a lot more power. Like a LOT!

Me: I know.

B: And those types don’t come cheap.

Me: I know.

B: And we’re already on a strict budget.


B: I’m just saying. How much are you willing to spend?

Me: I don’t know, like five to seven hundred?

B: Can you even get one in that price range?

Me: I don’t know.

B: Should we maybe find out?..!

Me: You mean right now, don’t you?

B: Well you know it’s just going to keep bugging us until we find out.

Me: You mean you, cause I’m perfectly fine with going back to sleep.

B: Who’s stopping you?

Me: Where’s my phone?

*Searches the internet: best laptops for graphic design…2019*

*Narrows choices down to a few*

*Searches for bargains*

—1 Hour later—

Me: O.k., so I’ve narrowed it down to these two. They’re the best I maybe can afford if I squeeze my budget to death.

B: O.k., note to self: murder budget.

Me: So are we done?

B:…..well you haven’t posted anything on WordPress in a while.

Me: I’m kind of low on ideas. If you wanna pitch in, be my guest.

B: …well… you never write about me. Maybe you can share some of the fun conversations we have.

Me: And let people know just how crazy I am.

B: Exactly!

Me: Meh, I can’t think of anything else. Sure, why not.

B: Should we get started on a draft?

Me: I’m not touching that phone again!!!

B: Oh, don’t worry, I’ll remember.

Me: That just means I’m not going to sleep for now.

B: Exactly! 😈

*If you enjoyed this post, check out more of my fiction here. For non-fiction here.

This post is a little bit of both, since this actually happened. Quite recently.*

Cluttered brain
This is just what’s bubbling on the surface. There’s much more below unfortunately.

10 thoughts on “Conversations with my brain…at 3 AM

Add yours

  1. Reblogged this on Mitch Teemley and commented:
    My Featured Blogger this week could be the next Erma Bombeck–if she can find the time! Tia is a bookaholic mother of two who “secretly dreams of one day self-publishing a small collection of (her) short stories.” Tia doesn’t post often, but when she does it’s a hoot.
    And oh-so-relatable!

    Liked by 3 people

  2. There must be a brain network. They all contact over the “either” net.

    B: Either you pay attention to me and solve all the problems of the world or I’ll put that “Baby Shark” song into your head until you go crazy and do the stuff we’ve agreed you have to do.


    B: … Ba….by….

    Me: OK OK OK, I’ll do it. Repainting hubby’s office. Oh Brain…

    B: Yes?

    Me: I’ve already stuck my palm and my elbow into the fresh paint.

    B: So?

    Me: …Ba…by…


    Liked by 2 people

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