As I may or may not have mentioned in a previous blog, I am Dutch, but I’m not Dutchie Dutch, meaning I have Dutch nationality by birth but I was not born in the Netherlands. I grew up speaking English and was taught Dutch at school. But when I moved to the Netherlands for my studies I realized there’s school Dutch, and there’s Dutch Dutch. So like, I knew a lot of Dutch sayings, but I didn’t realize how limited my knowledge of Dutch proverbs was until I moved here.
In point of origin, some make sense, but others are a real headscratcher. Like, how did the person who first taught it up land on their choice of words? To give an example: the saying that someone is “het zonnetje in huis”, in other words someone is the little sun in the home. I get that! As someone who originates from an island where there is bright, warm, ‘sunshiny’ weather 98% of the time and who is now forced (I exaggerate) to live in a country that is cold, wet and mostly dreary, I get how being the sun in one’s home is to be considered a delight. You liven and brighten up your surroundings and the people in it, and fill them with joy and warmth. Simple, logical, clear. “Duidelijk!”
But then there’s other sayings, such as “iemand wel achter het behang kunnen plakken”. So if I were to say, “ik kan mijn man wel achter het behang plakken”, the literal translation would be I could stick my husband behind the wallpaper. Uh…what now? What I would mean to say is my husband is so annoying, I need a break, I don’t want to have to deal with him. So I get that what you’re saying, in essence, is I wish he would disappear. But…why word it that way? If you stick someone behind wallpaper, you’re gonna know they’re there. I mean, you can see the outline. Or is it that you want to suffocate them by glueing over their airholes with the wallpaper…shut them up, but still have them nearby?
Because if you really want someone to disappear, there’s other ways of doing it. I mean, give me a shovel and an hour and I’ll get the job done. But sticking someone behind your wallpaper is neither efficient nor pretty. Anyway, that’s just where my train of thought led me at 5 in the morning after my husband woke me up when he came to bed. He’s so lucky we don’t have wallpaper in the house. But we do own a shovel…
*If you enjoyed this post, check out more nonfiction here.*
Tie My Tubes Already 
Leave a comment