Sorry, not sorry…life happened

I feel like I should break my almost-year-long blog silence with an apology to whomever has just (re-)stumbled upon this site. But I’m not going to, because it would be anything but sincere.

Now, I could give you a list of reasons/ excuses why I didn’t stick to my one-blog-a-month goal this year. But that’s just it, it was my goal; I set the bar that high, and I could just as easily lower it, if I’d so choose, and I did. But guilt compels me to give some explanation, so here goes.

A) Energy – I’ve got two rambunctious boys (eldest almost five, youngest now three) who daily suck every last micro-drop of energy out of me. And when they, I, or we all are sick, which unfortunately is quite often, I become a zombie; last thing on my mind is writing, when I can barely keep my eyes open to read.

B) Distractions – I’ve had a lot to process and take care of this year. Thing 1 has now officially been diagnosed as to being on the autistic spectrum. No surprise there, but all the specialist consults, testing, and school enrolment preparations took a huge chunk out of the very tiny morsel of time I had to begin with. I was in full mom/ secretary-mode with no headspace left for creativity. But the good thing, as a result, is that he is now in a class at a school where he can grow and thrive at his own pace and he comes home smiling every day. All the effort it took to get him the help he needs is paying off. So even though this journey is far from over, heck, we’re just getting started, we’ve jotted a course and are committed to carrying on, no matter how long it takes.

C) Muse – Rereading some of my old blogs, I came to the realization that my writing was most definitely fueled by anger and frustration. Sure, I’d put some humour into it (because I’d always rather laugh than cry), but writing came easiest to me when I was angry at my husband or frustrated with the incomprehensible things my kids do. So what happens when your marriage starts healing from the cuts and bruises caused by having kids? Or when you learn to tolerate your not-always-adorable children more? Yup, you lose your mojo. At least, that’s what happened to me. The drive to write eluded me. The subject matter played peekaboo with me. Cleverness laughed me in the face.

And so A+ B + C = no writing for the year. I’m sorry for all the blogs I could’ve or should’ve written, but then again not sorry, because, well…priorities. I won’t make any promises that I’ve turned over a new leaf or that I’m ready to make a new commitment. Let’s just say, I’ll write whenever the spirit moves me. And if I need some actual spirits to help me along now and again, well then so be it.🍹🍸🥂

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